Redefinding Modesty: A Girl's Side to the Struggle With Being Modest

Well, I didn't plan on writing this post (in fact I have another post that is nearly finished, waiting to be published) but I've been thinking about modesty lately, and with the controversial blog post making it's way around the social media, I figured now is a good time to share what's on my mind about the topic.

If you're part of the Y (or before) generation like me, chances are that you grew up hearing what has been the basic reason behind the need for women to be modest for a long time - to protect the hearts of men. For a long time I followed the guidelines of dressing modestly as if it were a reward-punishment system, because if I took the time and effort to dress appropriately, I was keeping my brothers in Christ from stumbling, and if I didn't, well, the punishment in my mind was quite scary. As a young teenager I was particularly haunted by Matthew 5:28 "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."  Gross! I wanted no part of that!

Dressing to meet the 'modest code' has never been a huge issue for me (though I do get very exasperated when going shopping as clothes that are short, see-through and an assortment of other descriptions become more and more abundant), however I have constantly struggled with the issue of modesty. I had no desire to dress like my peers, so why was I having so much trouble? After a long time of sorting through this confusing problem of mine, I discovered that I needed to redefine my definition of modesty.

Believing that modesty is dressing in a way that honors the struggles of men is wrong.

It gives the girl too much power. A young girl is taught to see her body as a power tool she can hold over or hide from the males she encounters. This reasoning turns her body, a beautiful gift from God, into an object that has the potential to be used to fulfill human desires - being used in both directions. Young men are being taught that women are not objects, girls need to be told this too.

I believe that the reasoning that is now being taught - dressing modestly to respect your own body- is also incorrect, because it is the exact opposite of what being modest is.

If modesty is the state of being modest, then what is the definition of modest? I pulled my dictionary off the shelve to answer this question and found that modest is being "unassuming or moderate in estimation of one's abilities or achievements". The new movement of 'modest is hottest' or telling a girl to dress and behave modestly simply because she amazing is a huge contradiction to what it is to actually be modest, because to be modest is to behave in such a way that does not point to yourself and just how awesome you are. This was the root of my own personal struggle with modesty. My belief of modesty took away from my ability to worship God as I was constantly looking downward and inward, instead of upward.

We have all heard how girls can distract and/or help guys, but through all of my research on the subject, not much has been taught on how guys redirect the attention of young ladies. Word of advice guys, women struggle with modesty too. Yes, sometimes ladies struggle with the physical presentation of males, but it goes deeper than that. On some days it is a battle to look past the very tips of our noses as our brains are full of bright neon signs screaming at us, calling our attention to what we have fallen short of and have failed to achieve on our own. On top these internal signals, crying for us to devote our focus on ourselves, we must fight the messages that the world shouts at us telling us what an awesome individual we are or could be. This is where I struggle the most, because every time a guy looks me over or is too blunt in his attraction for me, my focus quickly turns inward and away from my Creator.

So what is my new definition of modesty?

Modesty is behaving in a way that does not draw any attention to yourself, and points all attention to God.

This includes not only the attention of those around us, but also our own attention, our mind and heart. No distractions, just us praising our wonderful Savior.

There are no rewards in being modest, no mini self-esteem boost, no protection for just how awesome you are; it is simply a way to worship God.

Doing Both

Where did the wonder of the first day of school go? The happy memories of being the excited kindergartener off to learn about the great big world? As you've probably guessed, today was my first day of classes for my almost senior year of college (I have an extra semester after this year to earn my bachelor's of science in biology degree), and well, I wasn't really all that excited about it. I love learning, but all the same, I often find that the learning environment can be very taxing. There is one subject in particular that I find extremely challenging - biology.

Wait! Pause! Didn't I just say that I was majoring in biology? Yes, I am indeed a biology student, however if you had asked me back in high school what I was planning on studying in college, I would have told you that it would be any subject except biology; that biology would be my absolute last choice as a major. This was because of two reasons: First, I have a strong dislike creepy-crawly gross things that eat on me or use me as some kind of host, and these things are part of discussion when studying life and how organisms interact. Secondly, I didn't want to get involved in the mess of the war between my faith and science (especially in biology). When one studies creation within an environment that is not allowed to include the Creator, they are placed into a complex conflict; how is one to respect their professors and yet continue to hold fast to their beliefs? I have watched other biology students undertake the same struggle, and often sound harsh and judgmental when pointing out the contradictions between beliefs with statements like 'I can't believe anyone would believe in evolution, it's just stupid'. Aren't we suppose to represent who we worship by displaying unexplainable love? (John 13:35) Despite this knowledge, my feathers would still get ruffled when I had to sit through a lecture listening to theories and happenings that don't have enough evidence to accepted as fact. When this happens, I have learned to watch and listen to how the more experienced biology students answer this predicament, because believe it or not, there is a peaceful approach to argument. The best way for me to explain this is to recount the first time I learned how respectfully to defend my belief.

About a year ago I was taking a marine biology and conservation class and we were going over the ocean floor and how the unique geological features came to exist. The professor was explaining that through a very slow process that took millions of years, the ocean floor grew bigger and wider as lava was push up through crevices, at the rate of 1 to 2 inches a year. At this point I was silently arguing with them, because I believe that several geological features were formed by Noah's flood. While I was busy sending rather unkind thoughts towards my professor, a student behind me raised their hand and asked if it were possible that the rate of growth was quicker at any point in history. To which the professor replied that it was indeed possible, and then moved on to the next point in the lecture. With one simple sentence, that student was able to defend what they believed in and respect the authority of the professor. I hope that I will be able to response in a Christ like manor next time I am tempted argue against what I am being taught.
 
On a slightly lighter note, one fun way I have found to encourage myself while working on my science courses is to take my notes in notebooks that look like this:

I am still working on learning how to study in a way that brings glory to God, and if you have any advice or past experience in similar situations, please comment and share your story!

Prehistoric Weeds

Summer in the Midwest means that the weeds shoot up like, well, weeds. I don't hate weeding, but weeding is definitely not my favorite thing to do and the weeds on my front walkway are a little out of control (apparently weeds aren't very understanding and don't stop growing when the workers are in summer school). I know that I can praise and glorify the Lord doing any job I'm given, but it's really hard not to complain about weeding; it's a hot and tedious task and then there are the bugs - I keep uncovering bigger and bigger bugs, and I really don't like bugs. Major Ugh.

Lately I've been thinking about how the weeds were like in the Garden of Eden. When God kicked Adam and Eve out of the Garden, He told them that the ground was now cursed and it would take a lot of work to get the right things to grow and to clear away the thorns and thistles (Genesis 3:17 & 18); so how did the weeds behave before that? Did they have a unique purpose? Did they grow in neat lines and patterns? Or were they nonexistent? In any case, in the Garden of Eden, the weeds did not serve as a distraction from worshiping God as they do (at least for me) on the earth now.

While I cannot get into the Garden of Eden, I can look forward to heaven. I'm so excited for when I am worshiping with the weeds, and not when I'm weeding. And it's not just the weeds that will change; we will be getting a whole new body! I know that my body can majorly distract me from worshiping God. I get tiered, hungry, grumpy, sick, upset and more, all of which sadly divert me from glorifying God with my heart and actions. I won't have to deal with that in my new body and will get to be 100% focused on worshiping God. Heaven is going to be awesome!

But for now, I'll keep pulling up those unruly weeds, doing my best to praise God for His creation; even for the ugly, annoying plants that keep growing and spreading across the front yard.

Running Like Forrest Gump

I recently started running (nearly) every morning, and it is awful. If it were possible to un-invent anything I would nominate running (and maybe push-ups too). No one should have to force such horrible hardships upon their bodies. My dad was a runner, a really good runner, but I did not inherit the running loving genes from him; in fact I don't think that I have any type of running genes in me because I run like the younger Forrest Gump.

If you have not seen the movie, the main character is a renown runner, and his skills create many amazing opportunities for him; however, Forrest Gump was not always a fast runner, and a good portion of his childhood was spent in leg braces. These leg braces were interesting contraptions of metal and leather bolted together, reaching from Gump's thighs to the heels of his boots, causing him to have a awkward gait when he walked and a very funny looking, crooked running pattern. Forrest continues to wear the braces and move gawkily until, under the pressure of the close pursuit of bullies, he is force run hard and fast; the braces, too weak to keep up with the new level of speed, fall apart and Forrest finds himself running, truly running.

This scene of Forrest discovering the talent that the braces smother is given full Hollywood movie glory; played in slow motion with triumphant, soaring music in the background, the braces buckling and then breaking, pieces flying in all directions. As soon as the braces are thrown off, Forrest if able to 'run like the wind blows'. 

While I might not have any cumbersome gadgets that I can cast off to help me run more efficiently (other than maybe a few pounds that I choose to be blissfully ignorant of), my morning runs continuously make me think of Paul's analogy in Hebrews 12. "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Our spiritual race is so much easier and definitely more proficient when we strip down and throw off the things that weigh us down, even especially the worldly hindrances that we turn to for comfort. I hope that you don't suffer the way I do when you run, but whatever type of running skills you have, take heed of Paul's advice and find great joy in casting off what cripples you; running straight to Jesus.

My Anatomy Adventure

Hey All! I hope that your summer has been amazing! I know that some of my friends have returned to the international mission field (Africa, Mexico, Romania, Panama) while others have followed God's call to stay and work diligently at what He brings to us at home. My own summer days have thus far been spent in a way that I would have never foreseen; hours and hours in a lab studying a human body. My school offers the unique opportunity of undergrad cadaver privileges, and as part of my anatomy class, I got to learn about the body by seeing, touching and taking apart a real body. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be working with a cadaver, I would have been thoroughly grossed out. Thank goodness the Lord open my eyes and gave me a new attitude about studying the cadaver, because I don't think I could have survived the class if He didn't. See, after about a week into the class, I realized that I have the amazing opportunity to explore God's favorite creation; His masterpiece, His very likeness and image (Ephesians 2:10, Genesis 1:26&27). God loves all of creation and His handiwork is seen in everything He has made, but humans are special, set apart.

When God created the sky and sea, He saw that it was good.

When God created the plants, He saw that it was good.

When God created the stars, moon and the sun, He saw that it was good.

When God created the creatures that swim in the water and those that crawl across the land, He saw that it was good.

When God created the wild animals and livestock, He saw that it was good.

But when God created man, He blessed them.

I had the chance to explore and learn about God's most prized possession, and I was going to take this opportunity to the fullest and study the cadaver to the very best of my ability. I would often stay in the lab until midnight, labeling the different organs, muscles and structures and following the connections between their functions and systems. I ended up earning a lab grade of 99%, but grades can only prove a fraction of what the student learned. I learned so much more than where to locate (and spell) the thoracolumbar fascia, I now better understand how intricate, fascinating, complicated - wonderfully made (Ps 139:13) - the human body is.

"It's easy but hard, you know."

In my last post I wrote about one of the lessons I learned from working with wonderful translators in Panama. I had the amazing opportunity to work with two brilliant Panamanians, and I greatly miss both of them. While they may not know it, each of them taught me something that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. It's funny how a short story or sentence can redirect one's thought process in a monumental way. The following quote did just that, and caused me to ponder long and hard about being a missionary.

"It's easy but hard, you know."

That is what S. said me when we were talking about reaching out where we are placed. A simple little phrase that holds a lot truth. Every time that I have the chance to serve, the fact that God picked me to represent Him, makes me feel extremely special; yet there are many times that I will talk myself out of an opportunity that He puts in front of me. Why is it that even with God's love as motivation, His work is so hard to do? As children of God, one would think that it would be easy to do the things that please Him. I feel that I should be bursting at the seams to share the wonderful gift that I have, and yet I often don't. I'm not the only one who has been in this predicament. In Romans 7, Paul describes his struggle: "For what I want to do I do not do, but what I had I do...So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me." Here Paul, successfully illustrates what the life of a prisoner to sin looks like. A constant war raging within, and we have no control over it. Sadly, it is our nature to be slaves to sin, and thus targets of God's wrath (Ephesians 2:3b). Here we are, humans - created to worship and glorify God, and yet we have chosen to let sin corrupt us so that we are no longer able to do what we were created for!

Thank goodness God chose not to leave us in this hopeless state. If fact, our God is so amazing that He has given us everything we need to live a godly life! (2 Peter 1:3-4) I can't wrap my mind around how awesome our God is!

Lost in Translation

My dear readers, I must once again apologize for the great length of time between my posts. My life has been rather busy, but is other wise going well. It has been just over three months since I have returned from Panama, and I still think about my time there constantly. Many of you have asked for another post on my experiences there, so I am going to take the next few lines on this page sharing my favorite object lesson from my trip.

As I worked with and among the different peoples of Panama, I encountered three different languages; Spanish, Kuna and Wounaan. This meant that I had the privilege of working with several wonderful translators (because my spanish is horribly rusty).  If you have ever been in a situation in which you needed to rely on a translator, you know what a wonderful partnership and working experience it can be. Looking back, I feel that I communicated better when I was speaking through a translator, than how I do speaking on my own. The language barrier forced me to employ every form on communication, body language, good annunciation, strong listening and full concentration on what was being said. Even with all my efforts, the translators did most of the work. Their work started long before I met them, for they had to build up a vocabulary in two and sometimes three languages and their work continued for they were conscious of their role, always placing themselves where they could listen most effectively.

It is through these observations of how good translators work, I learned more about my role as a translator for God.  The question, 'Am I listening to God in such a way that I will be ready to translate what He says to me to the people He brings into my life in a way that they would understand?' is haunting and leads to many more questions. First of all, what kind of vocabulary and qualities am I building up in myself? 1 Peter 1:5-8 gives a list of qualities (faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness and love) that we should do everything in our power to gain in increasing amounts, because they will keep us from being ineffective and unproductive in our knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. Secondly,  am I effectively listening to God? As a college student, I have become very good at 'bearly' listening. Sometimes I go to class and the only part of the lecture I remember is what followed the phase "This will be on the test". It's bad to think that I do that with some of my classes, but it's really scary to think that I do that with God.

I was reading Habakkuk today, and in the second chapter, verse one, Habakkuk states, "I will stand my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint." In chapter one, Habakkuk basically gave God a long list of complains, and then sat down and waited for God to answer. The first verse of chapter two really stuck out to me because I can think of many times I have complained to God, but then went on with my life, and didn't stick around to wait for an answer.  Habakkuk not only waited for an answer, but he placed himself in the 'watchtower' the best position possible to receive God's message.

Cuts deep, doesn't it? To realize that the message God has for me and others may be getting lost in translation. Can I afford to listen halfheartedly? The answer is no. I must see myself as a watchman, earnestly listening, eagerly awaiting for God to speak to me.