Knowing

Well, my dear readers, I now find myself off campus, spending the holiday weekend with my family. I have never been happy to leave a mission field before, but by Friday I was nearly dying to go.  Because of these foreign feelings I questioned if my school truly was a missions field I was suppose to be actively serving on.  As I pondered how sad and restless I had been over the past few weeks, BANG! God hit me square on the head with Psalm 46:10. 

Be still, and know that I am God; 

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth.

Yeah, He pretty much answered my questioning. I was restless because I was focusing on what I was doing, what I was seeing, what I knew.  That’s one of the amazing things about the God I serve, His ways are high above my puny, simpleminded human ways. (Isaiah 55:8-9). It is very easy to concentrate on the weaknesses and limits I have, and completely miss the glory of God in my life.  I start to add up all of the times I was turned down when I brought God into the conversation, and blindly label what I do as worthless. I feel the pressure of the world and human judgments weighing down on me, and begin to turn to worldly excuses to explain my attempt to pursue godliness.  Paul had his share of feelings like this. He wrote of his experience in 2 Corinthians 1:9, stating that the reason for the pressures and desire to give up were given to him so that he might rely on God, who powerfully raised Jesus from the dead, rather than himself.  One would think that we would naturally choose to rely on the highest form of power in everything we do, but that is not the case. I often choose to view all of my activities only up to the capacity of my humanity, setting restrictions on the affects of my willingness to follow the Lord. I don’t see results, therefore nothing has happen- how silly is that way of thinking? I run around busily trying way too hard to reach out and forget to reach up first.  God is asking me to KNOW Him; that’s it, and He will take care of the rest.  

Be quiet my child, understand how awesome I am; 
and I will show the world my glory and they honor me in every place.

So I now I am taking on the challenge of striving to understand a God who's ways are far above my own, which means I must step out of my own ways just to begin to work towards grasping His. But hey, stepping away from the confusion I claim as my knowledge so I can achieve incomparable, uncontainable unimaginable wisdom doesn't sound like a bad deal to me.